


Starfish

by Xheeroyuy2x



Category: Free!
Genre: First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xheeroyuy2x/pseuds/Xheeroyuy2x
Summary: Haru finally realizes he has a crush. He asks Nagisa for advice.
Relationships: Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 13
Kudos: 146





	Starfish

Starfish

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Haru stared down at his phone, arms folded, a serious contemplation, seated on his knees in his living room.

He thought about what Makoto had said to him just that previous week. He was right. He was way out of his depth.

~*~  
“You need to ask for help, Haru-chan.”

“Knock it off with the ‘chan’,” Haru frowned. “I don’t need help. What makes you think I need help.”

“I’m just saying!” Makoto smiled, waving his hands gently in an attempt to mollify him. “It makes other people feel good to be able to help you too. And you get the help you need too.”

“I told you, nothing’s wrong. So stop being so pushy.”

“Ah-” Makoto continued to smile, gently forced, as they walked home. “I’m sorry.”

After their last big fight, Haru knew Makoto was touchy about being called ‘pushy’ and it was the way for Haru to end a conversation he did not like. By calling him pushy. It wasn’t really fair and he knew it. It hurt Makoto to hear it, but it did do the job of making him stop pestering Haru.

And, to make matters worse, there was something on his mind. 

He just felt he couldn’t ask anyone about it. 

And definitely not Makoto.

~*~

Haru continued to stare at his phone.

“...Ask for help,” he mused softly to himself, then made the decision. He had to just ‘dive in’ so to speak.

Haru picked up his phone and called Nagisa. Already his heart started to beat a bit faster. Everything he’d thought about saying or asking left his head as the phone rang and rang.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with this because maybe Nagisa wouldn’t pick up.

Nagisa picked up.

Damn.

“Haru-chan!” Nagisa said, ebullient.

“Stop it with the ‘chan’.”

“How are you?” he asked, but Haru could sense the curiosity in Nagisa’s voice. It was true that Haru never called Nagisa. He rarely called anyone. He rarely even called Makoto, but with him there was really no need to -- he saw him every day already.

“....” he paused, exhaling softly. It wasn’t too late. He could not ask what he was going to ask. 

Nagisa’s voice softened since Haru was taking too long to reply, “...Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Haru answered quickly. “I just.. Nagisa-kun.. wanted to ask you something. Are you busy?”

“Not at all! Um. Hang on and give me a second,” Nagisa said. Haru could hear that he must be getting up or repositioning. “Okay! I’m ready. What’s up?”

“How do you..” he paused because it was the last moment he could change his mind about starting this whole thing off, but then he asked “...show someone you like them?” 

“You mean like a crush?”

Haru was quiet on his side because, yes, it was about a crush. He could not quite bring himself to confirm it verbally, but did not need to because Nagisa inferred that it was about a crush and continued.

Nagisa laughed softly, but not unkindly. “Whaaat?! Oh, Haru! That’s awesome! That’s a problem though, isn’t it? Hmm..” he pondered. “I think it depends on the person you like partially and how you are. Can you tell me who it is? It would help me figure out how to help you!”

Haru was a bit shocked that Nagisa did not outright explode in demanding who he liked. “..No… I just.. generally.. wanted to know.”

“Well!” he said, “There are definitely some things you can do ‘generally’ when there’s someone you like. Are you talking to this person already?”

Answering that question would mean that this was not just a hypothetical person anymore. He hedged with time, but then said, “Yes.”

“Okay! Great. That’s a good start,” Nagisa mused happily. “You should ask this mystery person out on a date!”

“Mm…” Haru said, starting to question his own plan of action, “I’m not sure they want to go on a date.”

“How do you know if you don’t ask them?”

“Isn’t there like.. A way to find out without actually asking them?”

“Oooh…” Nagisa said as he thought. “That’s tricky, but yes! You could try to get them to ask -you- out.”

“How do I do that?”

“Do what I do! First, dress super cute so they notice you. Second, hang out with them while dressed super cute. Third, ask them out to a movie… and like.. put your hand in the space between seats. If they like you, they will notice and possibly take your hand. If not, no harm done and you can still be friends!”

Haru’s brain tried to process this.

Nagisa continued, “Oh! Or like when you walk home with them if your fingers brush up ‘accidentally’ against theirs and see if they reciprocate. Or like.. If you’re hanging out with them in your room.. You could do that super cute thing with pocky! Stick it in your mouth and they’re supposed to take a bite.”

Haru’s brain was suddenly overloaded. It was a lot, and so much of it was stuff there was no way he could do in a million years. “...I don’t think I can do any of that…”

“I’ll-so-totally-help-you!!! You can totally do it, Haru-chan!!”

“No ‘chan’.” he said.

“Haru--I’m so excited for you. I can’t believe it! A spring romance blossoming!?”

Oh boy. This may have been a mistake.

He could practically feel Nagisa’s joy beaming at him through his phone. “Nagisa..”

“Don’t worry about it, Haru. I’ve got you covered. It seems like it’s a lot, but I’ll walk you through everything.”

“I don’t know..”

“Look. Step one is to just get some super cool clothes to wear on your date. We can go to the mall and I’ll help you pick out some date outfits. That’s pretty harmless, right?”

“What’s wrong with what I wear now?”

Nagisa laughed, “That’s true. You’re already super trendy! We should still go though. Having something new that’s your ‘date’ outfit will give you confidence when the time comes.”

“If you say so.”

“Totally. We can go this Saturday if you’re free.”

Haru took a long moment to agree, but he agreed. “Okay. Saturday.”

“I’ll meet you at the station and we can go to Aeon Mall?”

Haru nodded and confirmed, “Aeon Mall.”

“I’ll see you at school!”

“Yeah,” Haru said, then hung up.

He exhaled.

What had he just gotten himself into?

~*~*~*Nagisa*~*~*~

Rei stared at Nagisa as he got off the phone with Haru. He had one of Nagisa’s pillows on his lap, having claimed the space between Nagisa’s bed and the low study table. His homework was in front of him, but now far less important.

“...So, Haruka-senpai has someone he likes?” Rei asked, truthfully, a little bit shocked.

Nagisa turned slowly, putting his phone down on the table. “It seems so!”

“And he didn’t say who it was?”

Nagisa shook his head and laughed softly. “No, I didn’t want to pry. You know how sensitive Haru-chan is. He probably would have hung up on me if I pressed him. I’m glad he’s letting me take him to the mall on Saturday to give him an outfit makeover!”

Rei put his hand to his chin and closed his eyes briefly, thinking. “I wonder who it is.”

Nagisa’s smile dropped and his eyebrows knit very slightly. How was it not obvious?! “I have a guess,” he laughed good naturedly.

“Who do you think?”

“Not for me to say!”

“Nagisa! Really?”

“Use your big brain, silly!”

“Hmm…” he tapped his cheek as he thought. “Did he say yes or no to the question that it’s someone he already interacts with?”

Nagisa nodded. “Yes.”

Rei continued to think. “If it is someone that Haruka-senpai is already talking to, then it should be relatively easy to narrow down the options,” he said optimistically--logically. “It would likely be someone at our school, someone in his neighborhood, or maybe someone at Rin’s school.”

“Mm-hmm..”

“He talks most to the people on the swim team. I don’t share any classes with him, but from everything I hear he does not talk to many people in class either; he keeps our company mostly.”

Nagisa nodded, following his logic trail.

Rei continued, “Outside of school he still mostly hangs out with Makoto and our swim team. The only other person I know him to see regularly is Rin, but really only when we do our joint swim meets. It doesn’t seem like they hang out by themselves, so I doubt it would be someone he met at Rin’s school that we don’t know about.”

Nagisa set his jaw, wondering just how dense Rei was. Was Rei still assuming Haru’s crush was a girl? 

Because there was no way.

“I can’t really remember him talking to any girls. Just Gou. But he really doesn’t seem that interested in her at all. Hmm.”

Nagisa shrugged, “I guess we’ll never know.”

“I’ll have to pay more attention,” he thought. “And see if I can’t figure it out. You won't tell me?”

Nagisa shook his head then waved his hand, “No, especially because I might be wrong and I don’t want to embarrass him. I just have a hunch is all.”

Haru definitely had a crush on Makoto. And also maybe Rin. 

It had to be one of the two of them.

It had to be.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

The following morning Haru soaked in his bath before school. He knew time was ticking away and he would be late if he didn’t get out sooner, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. He didn’t want to get out. And he didn’t really want to go to school either.

He gazed outside the bathroom window and up at the blue sky.

He would rather just stay here in this tranquility.

The only reason to go to school was swim practice… and Makoto.

He heard Makoto’s footsteps coming up the stairs rapidly. “Haru!” he said, a bit out of breath. “You’re still not dressed? You’re not going to have me right across the street when we get to college! You’ll have to learn to be on time by yourself,” he said, but his tone wasn’t chiding. It was the same patient, gentle tone he always had for Haru.

Makoto held out his hand. Haru took it and let himself be pulled out.

He toweled off and Makoto hurried him to his room to change and get his bag together.

Eventually they left his house to make the long walk to school together.

Haru let his gaze move back up toward the sky. It was a nice day out.

“It’s a nice day out, isn’t it?” Makoto said, echoing his thoughts.

Haru glanced at him and nodded.

Makoto continued, “Really nice for swim practice today.”

That was also in Haru’s thoughts.

Makoto smiled at him and laughed softly. “It’s hard to believe it’s our last year walking this path together, you know? I’m going to miss it. But!” he said not wanting to lament already, “Next year is going to be really great and our universities aren’t too far apart from each other, so we could maybe find close apartments.”

Haru nodded. It sounded good. It would be really nice to have Makoto still close..

“Have you started looking?” Makoto asked.

“Mmm….” he said, hedging.

“Haru! You have to start looking or all the good apartments will be claimed!”

“I know..” he said, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. He would miss walking to school with Makoto every day, Makoto fixing his askew collar in the mornings, swim practice with his teammates, staying at Makoto’s house with his family, and so on. 

Finding an apartment and singing a lease would just make it all so real.

The future, though he had a plan now, made him a little wary. He tried not to think about it too much because it was happening. It was inevitable.The conclusion his friends had helped him come to was not just necessarily that he had to have a so-called “dream” or plan for the future, but that he had to accept change. 

Life changed. People changed. The world changed.

Makoto glanced at him. “Are you okay?”

Haru nodded. “Are you ready for college?”

“Yes!” he said with the energy of conviction, then added a bit more dampened, “And no. I’m really nervous about it too. It’s going to be really different.”

“Just be you,” Haru said, echoing something else from the past. “You’ll be just fine.”

“So will you, Haru,” Makoto said, looking at him in earnest. This took Haru a little aback -- did something on his face say that he needed reassurance? It was irritating that Makoto could read him so well much of the time.

Makoto seemed to pick up Haru’s affront and continued on with a different tack, “We won't have to wear uniforms anymore.”

“Mm.. we’ll have to buy suits,” added Haru. He liked the notion of no uniforms, but was not so sure about suits either.

“At least that’s just for special occasions. I think it will feel really strange wearing normal clothes to a lecture though. Won’t it?”

Haru nodded, “But comfortable. More free.”

That got a burst of laughter out of Makoto. “Yes,” he said with laughter still in his voice, “More ‘free’.”

That kind of laughter from Makoto made Haru’s emotions do strange, but wonderful things. Makoto should always laugh like that.

If he was honest with himself, which he had started to be, he wanted to make Makoto laugh like that as often as possible.

They arrived at school and had a fairly regular day. Haru couldn’t help but start to feel that nostalgia and the lament already creeping into him. As the days got closer to graduation, it seemed like all of the seniors had that sense about them.

Makoto’s mood had been contagious, he thought. But, so was his optimism, which was something that Haru had always admired about him. 

Next year would be fine. There was much to look forward to -- that was something else that his friends had finally convinced him of.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

That Saturday Nagisa met Haru at the station. Haru narrowed his eyes, because so did Rei.

As they got closer, Nagisa smiled and waived, “I hope you don’t mind, I brought Rei along! He was sort of in my room when we were talking about your situation.” Nagisa made a playful grimace of sorts. “He wants to help too!” he added quickly.

Haru frowned, displeased. “Whatever.”

Nagisa came up and hugged him though, of which Haru had not expected. 

“Get off me,” Haru said, but truthfully he did not mind. 

Nagisa was probably aware of that.

Rei smiled too and said, “Hey, Haruka-senpai. Really I’m just along to learn from Nagisa. I don’t know much about this stuff either. I’ve never had a girlfriend or anything before, so I’m just as lost,” he said, giving a bit of a sheepish smile.

“Can you please not tell anyone else?” Haru said. Things were already feeling out of control.

“Of course! Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Rei nodded seriously, “I solemnly swear to keep your secret.”

Haru eyed them both then waited for the train while he listened to Rei and Nagisa talk. In some ways it was better that Rei was there; he would not need to make conversation with Nagisa, which he found difficult sometimes. It was easiest with Makoto.

“Oh! Here comes the train!” Nagisa said, then in the same breath changed topics entirely, “We should get some shaved ice.”

“But it’s cold out.”

“They still do shaved ice at the mall in winter.”

“That’s not the point though. Shouldn’t we do something warm, like coffee or hot cocoa?”

“Those are drinks! I want dessert.” 

“There’s just as much sugar in the beverages you get to be a dessert. I think you just like ice cream and shaved ice.”

“Guilty as charged! If you really don’t want something cold, you could convince me to do cake with coffee or something.”

“That sounds good to me, but if you really want ice cream--”

“No, no! We’ll get some cake and coffee. That’s more social anyway and we won't have to worry about rushing before it melts.”

They boarded the train and it was a decently pleasant trip looking out the window as he continued to listen to them talk, argue, and laugh.

He would miss them.

Eventually Rei broke his contemplation.

“Haruka-senpai, I was thinking about this, but we’re about to graduate. If it goes well, won’t dating someone be hard if you just have to break up with them before going to college?”

Nagisa smacked Rei’s arm, “Rei! Don’t pester him about it! There’s nothing more bitter-sweet than a short romance before going off to college! And maybe long distance would work if they go far away and their love is super strong!”

Haru glanced off to the side, but in a rare moment opened up slightly. “I just want to know,” he said a bit haltingly, “one way or the other. If the feeling is mutual.”

Rei nodded sagely, placing a hand over his heart, “Aah.. avoiding a lifetime of unrequited love. Smart, I think.”

Nagisa nodded. “Mmm! So you think it’s better to be rejected and move on---or on the flip side at least you could date for a little while. It’s not a bad idea,” Nagisa said, “Our school term is almost over so if you get rejected it wouldn’t be too awkward if it’s someone from school. Is it someone from school!?”

It was Rei’s turn to smack Nagisa, “And who was saying not to pester him??”

Haru sighed through his nose. “Maybe this is a mistake.”

Nagisa shook his head vehemently. “You can’t let fear of rejection get in the way -- otherwise you’ll just be stuck in the same place forever!”

Wasn’t that the point he had come to learn? He couldn’t just stay in the same place forever. Because, even if he wanted to stay in the same place, everything else would change around him regardless. Everything was changing all the time. He either had to change with it or let it slip through his fingers.

Haru finally nodded. “I guess so.”

“Right!” Nagisa said with finality. “Now we’re going to get you some killer outfits to get this person’s attention.”

Nagisa led the way to Aeon Mall and the various department stores inside. Nagisa made Haru try on what felt like an interminable amount of clothing.

“These are the ones!” Nagisa announced. “Rei and I agree.”

Rei stood, nodding, with his arms crossed. 

Haru did not object, because they were not wrong. The outfits that they had chosen felt a bit more ‘casual-mature’. It was like he really was graduating high school and would be starting college. 

He looked at himself in the mirror.

Blue chino pants. A white and blue striped T-shirt with a light linen overshirt rolled up at the sleeves. A nice belt with a sailor pattern pressed into the leather.

He felt nice. It would be a good spring outfit.

“And this hat!” Nagisa proclaimed, dropping a straw fedora with a dark blue ribbon on his head. “That cut of chinos makes your butt look nice.”

Haru started to look at him when Rei swatted Nagisa. “And you keep telling me not to make him feel self conscious!”

Haru watched the two of them arguing good-naturedly and found himself smiling despite himself.

As their playful argument wound down Haru said, “Nagisa. Rei. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” they said just about in unison.

Both of them were suddenly smiling. 

Makoto had been right. Asking for help had made both Nagisa and Rei feel really good. It had been the right thing to do.

Haru made several purchases upon their recommendations and both Rei and Nagisa helped him carry his bags as they walked along.

“Haru, is it okay if we go get ice cream now? I’m exhausted!” Nagisa said.

“I thought we were getting cake and coffee?” Rei said.

“Right! I mean cake and coffee!”

Haru nodded, “Sure. I don’t care.”

The three of them settled down at one of the Aeon Mall cafe areas with drinks and an assortment of desserts. 

“Rei! Can I try some of your strawberry cake? It looks amazing.”

Rei frowned. “If this is what you really wanted, then you should have gotten one.”

“But I really wanted this chocolate one too! Look! You can have a big bite of mine.”

“All right! All right!” Rei relented. 

“Haru! How’s the green tea cake?” Nagisa asked.

Haru nodded, “It’s good. You can have some if you want.”

Nagisa helped himself and once Nagisa was sated (he ate a bit faster than Rei and Haru) he turned his attention to Haru.

“So the next step is the hard part. We have to figure out what kind of date you want to take this person on to try and figure out their feelings. I still think that asking them casually to a movie would work.”

Haru didn’t quite have it in him to make eye contact with this kind of personal talk happening. “How will that be different from any other time I go to the movie?”

“For starters, you’re going to wear one of your handsome date outfits. And, secondly, you should do that thing I was talking about -- put your hand down on the space between seats. If they put their hand down too near your hand it’s a really good sign! Then you just like accidentally touch pinkies or whatever. If they don’t shy away from it then they want to touch you and you can eventually shift to holding hands! Then you’ll know!”

Rei frowned. “Nagisa. How do you know all of this stuff anyway?”

Nagisa laughed easily, “I have watched so many romances and read so many books. I know what’s up.” He raised his finger and waved it sagely, “This is how it’s done, Rei.”

“Have you even tried these techniques?!”

“Well..” Nagisa hedged, “Yeah, but nothing came of it.” Then catching the overwhelmed look on Haru’s face, he added, “But that doesn’t mean it wont be successful for Haru!”

“Wait! When did you go on a date?” Rei pressed.

“It wasn’t exactly a date,” Nagisa sighed. “I guess it was sort of a similar situation to Haru’s. There was someone I liked, but I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we already had by saying something about it. So I just dropped all of the body language hints and nothing came of it.”

“But what if the person had no idea what you were trying to do? From everything I’ve read in books the number one thing you should do is be upfront about everything. Talk to the person. Tell them how you feel. Be clear so there’s no room for confusion.”

“What!” Nagisa exploded, “That’s crazy talk! You might jeopardize the friendship and make it super awkward and weird if you do that. How would you feel if one of your friends called you out and suddenly told you ‘Hey, I super duper like you. We should date’?”

“I guess if I didn’t like them.. I would tell them that I was super flattered and thank them. I would still be friends with them of course.”

“Yeah, but would you really be able to do that? Think about how it would go afterward, Rei! Would you be able to hang out with that person and not wonder if they were still trying to get with you? Wouldn’t you wonder if it hurt them to be around you because they still like you even though you totally rejected them? Wouldn’t you just end up feeling like you were leading them on if you continued to invite them over and spent a lot of time with them? You can’t give them hope by still hanging out with them the same way, right?”

Haru had a sinking feeling. 

“Mm.. I guess that’s true. It might be a little awkward. But, if the friendship is strong enough then it should survive. And besides, isn’t it harder to live not knowing? You could stay stuck feeling in love forever if you never come forward with it. I still think it’s better to be forthright. If you get rejected, the faster you can get over it and move on to someone else that may feel that way about you and also the faster you can repair the friendship.”

“I don't know about that,” Nagisa said. “I think it would just be so confusing and awkward that both parties might just find it easier to not hang out. And I think that’s really sad. Especially if the friendship is really important to you and it doesn’t get repaired.”

Both of them finally looked at Haru, who had stopped eating midway through his cake. 

He felt dejected. It was too much.

“Look,” Nagisa said gently. “Step one is the movie. Do it my way first. If something comes of it -- then great! We’ll just have to worry about a more direct approach if not. Try the movie first.”

Haru thought about this, then finally nodded.

“We’ll both be cheering you on,” Rei said. “We just want this to work out for you.”

“Thank you,” Haru said then nudged his plate toward Nagisa. “Do you want the rest of this?”

“Hell yeah!”

The three of them returned to Iwatobi. Nagisa and Rei continued to chat while Haru became a bit more contemplative. He watched the grassy hills, trees, and small towns whip by on their way home as he thought.

Getting Makoto to the movies wouldn’t be a problem. The question was… did Makoto feel similarly? Would he recognize the signs Nagisa was suggesting? 

As far as he was aware, Makoto was just as inexperienced as himself. He hadn’t known the signs. Nagisa had to tell him what they were. Did Makoto know ‘the signs’?

He went over and over everything Rei and Nagisa had been discussing when he finally caught the glimmer of the ocean. It was beautiful. The sun was starting to set and it’s rays had set everything ablaze in the sky and the waves into a full shimmer.

Everything would be okay.

He would ask Makoto to the movies and see what would happen.

~*~

Haru parted ways with them at the station with another ‘thank you’ and made his walk back home. He climbed the stone steps up, passed his neighbors and passed Makoto’s house. It was about dinnertime and he could see the lights on. He thought it would be nice if he could join them, but it was a little late to barge in now.

He looked up toward his own house as he climbed the final flight and saw Makoto at the top of the steps just starting to come down. Makoto noticed him about the same time.

“Haru!” he said, face brightening. “I was just at your house. I was wondering where you were! Do you want to come over for dinner?”

“Yeah,” Haru smiled gently up at him. He could feel Makoto’s gentle magic working on him. His heart always felt so calm and content when Makoto was near. It was a warm, affectionate feeling. A radiant feeling.

Makoto came partway down the steps to meet him and take some of his bags. “Aeon Mall? Oh! You should have let me know. I would have come with you,” he chided warmly. 

Under any normal circumstance, he would have asked Makoto to go with him. “Oh.. um.. you’re right,” was all he could manage by way of excuse. There was no excuse.

Makoto carried half of his bags and they dropped them off just inside the entryway on the hall floor. 

“Did you need time to change?” Makoto asked.

Haru shook his head. “I’m ready as is. I’ll deal with those later,” he said in reference to his various Aeon Mall bags.

“All right. My mom is making hot pot tonight.. I’m sorry it’s not mackerel.” 

“That’s fine.”

Makoto walked him all the way back down to his house where they had a nice family dinner.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

Makoto lay in bed that evening, looking out at the stars twinkling in the inky purple sky. He glanced down at Haru, who had decided to spend the night. He lay curled up on one of the bedding mats while simultaneously hugging his pillow and resting his head on it.

He looked so vulnerable in his sleep.

Why had Haru gone to the mall without him? Haru disliked the mall; he usually only went when Makoto encouraged him to go or there was some unavoidable group outing. Aeon mall didn’t even have the swim tanks like the one they usually went to. And since when did Haru go shopping for that amount of clothing?

It was odd.

Maybe Haru was growing up. Maybe he was just getting older. Maybe Haru was changing. Maybe Haru would outgrow him as a friend. He would be meeting so many new people at college. 

Maybe Haru wouldn’t need him anymore.

His brain was spinning out of control. He looked back out at the night sky and tried to think about other things, but it was not long before his mind had circled back around to it.

Still. There was no way Haru went all the way to Aeon Mall by himself.

Did he go with Rin? He probably went with Rin. He felt a pang of jealousy. Rin was able to motivate Haru so easily. 

He tossed and turned.

Haru could have told him that’s why he was busy. Was he hiding that he was going out with Rin? Why was he hiding it? Was there a reason to hide it?

It took him far longer to get to sleep than normal. He felt tired the next day, but it was Sunday and it would be fine.

~*~*~*~

Haru woke up with a severe case of bedhead. He was unsuccessful in smoothing it out as he sat up. He saw that Makoto was still sleeping on his side with his back to him, breath rising and falling softly.

He felt everything in his chest soften, looking at him. 

Makoto looked so vulnerable when he slept.

And attractive. His back was so expansive and strong. He had finally admitted to himself that, yes, he wanted to touch him. He wanted to run his hand down his spine and over his lats. He wanted to.. do a lot.

It wasn’t until about halfway through high school when he started having very vivid dreams that he realized maybe these feelings weren’t just best friend feelings. There were other feelings too.

In junior high Makoto had very possibly confessed to him. Was that what he had meant when he said ‘I like swimming and I like you’? Or did he just mean it in a best friend platonic sort of way? If he meant it romantically, did he still feel that way?

He stopped his brain from it’s current train of thought. This would get him nowhere good fast.

Makoto breathed in deeply then shifted onto his back, slowly waking up. His eyes finally opened and focused on Haru. “Mm.. Good morning,” he said, voice a little rough from sleep.

“Good morning,” Haru said. He had his legs tucked up to his chest and arms about his knees to hide any physical manifestation of these less-than-platonic feelings. “Do you want to go to the movies today?”

Makoto stretched out on his bed while he nodded. He was so tall, thought Haru. His mind was starting to get off track again, but Makoto being awake was very sobering and put a stop to that.

Makoto yawn-exhaled and said, “Yeah. What do you want to see?”

He shrugged. “You pick. I just feel like going.”

“Mm, okay,” Makoto said as he sat up. “Let’s eat breakfast, change, and then go? You won’t be bored going to the mall again so soon?”

Haru shook his head. “We can shop around, get lunch and see the movie.”

Makoto nodded. “Let’s leave about 11:30 then. I have some chores I have to do after breakfast. I’ll meet you outside?”

Haru agreed.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

A little before 11:30 Makoto made his way up the stone steps to Haru’s house. 

He rang the doorbell then let himself in. “I’m coming in, Haru.”

Seeing that Haru was not downstairs, Makoto climbed up the steps to the second floor and found him in his room, getting ready.

“Wow,” he said. “Haru. You look like a college student.”

“Thank you.”

Haru was wearing one of his new outfits from the mall, fashionably distressed jeans and a thin green knit sweater with a grey block stripe across the chest. It was a simple and smart look.  
It was early November, but was warm during the day and colder in the mornings and evenings. Had Rin encouraged him to buy this outfit that past Saturday? He still hadn’t confirmed that and it was jealousy that made him ask, “Did Rin pick that out for you?”

Haru finished hooking his belt and looked up at him and tilted his head, eyes narrowing slightly. “No.”

And, unsatisfyingly, Haru did not supply any explanation beyond that. His phishing to see if he had gone out with Rin on Saturday had failed.

Makoto found he could not press any further questions on him about it. And why was he being so possessive of Haru anyway? He was allowed to have other friends and go out with other people without him.

Haru said, “If you’re ready to go, let’s go.”

Makoto nodded and smiled, “Just waiting on you.”

The two of them made their way to the station and onward to Aeon Mall via the train. On the train, Makoto found a seat for them, saving the window for Haru. Haru sat down next to him and looked out.

Haru asked, “Did you pick a movie?”

Makoto nodded, “I was thinking about ‘It’s Always Autumn’.” Had there been a movie involving the ocean or swimming, he would have picked it on Haru’s behalf. However, no such movie was out. Instead this was a new movie with a bit of a solemn, introspective vibe. It was something quieter that he thought Haru might enjoy.

Haru nodded. “Okay.”

“It starts at 2:15, so we should have plenty of time to get lunch.”

Haru nodded again and looked out the train window. 

Makoto was quiet for a little bit, watching Haru watch the scenery go by. He felt a bit of that same nostalgia and lamentation filtering back in, but then a warm wash of emotion came over him. They would still be spending plenty of time together in Tokyo. 

Everything would be new and different, but with Haru there he felt like he could do it. It wasn’t as scary so long as he had someone to go through it with -- in particular, Haru, who stressed less about things.

“Will you help me shop afterwards? For new clothing?” he asked.

Haru said, “Mm-hmm.”

“You look so mature and sophisticated. I should probably get something that makes me look that way too. I want to see what else you bought.”

“You don’t have to change anything.”

“But that’s part of what college is, isn’t it? Finding out who you are and trying on different ‘hats’ per se?”

“Mm.. so it’s said, but I like you however you are. You don’t need to change if you don’t want to.” Haru finally turned his gaze to Makoto, “I’m not saying you shouldn’t change. I’m just saying don’t change because you feel you should change.”

Makoto warmed a little at that. “Thanks, Haru. I want to change,” he said, “but only in that way that I’m supposed to change. However that may be.”

“So you’ll change in a uniquely Makoto way,” Haru turned back toward the scenery and so did Makoto.

Makoto laughed softly. “That’s exactly it.”

When they finally arrived, Makoto and Haru ventured through the city streets to the mall, which was a short walk from the major train station. 

“Lunch first?” Makoto confirmed. Haru nodded and the two of them found a decent place to eat. To Makoto, it felt like any normal day trip out with Haru. He chatted with him about light school gossip, the swimming season, the programs they were watching. 

Usually Makoto offered to pay for their meals, but today was different in that Haru would not accept it. In fact he was firm in paying for Makoto. Maybe it was just part of Haru wanting to grow up too? 

With the time in between finishing the meal and before the movie started, they did a bit of shopping. Makoto carried his single bag with him to the theatre.

“Did you want popcorn or anything?” Makoto asked as they got in line and bought tickets.

Haru nodded, “But let me get it.”

“You don’t have to pay for anything. You already paid for lunch.”

“No,” Haru said, remaining just as firm as he had with lunch earlier. “Let me get your snacks.”

“All right… Just popcorn and a soda. It’s the only occasion I ever really have popcorn.” He accepted, because who was Makoto to object? If it made Haru happy to pay for him, he would accept that. He would just get him the next time.

“Same.” After payment, Haru handed Makoto his drink and carried the large bag of popcorn for them to share. They got to their seats and settled in for the movie.

“Did you watch the preview?” Makoto asked quietly as ads played.

Haru shook his head. “If you picked it, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I hope it’s something you will like.”

Haru glanced at him, a look that was a little unreadable to Makoto. Haru was acting strange, he realized. And he couldn’t figure out why. The only reason he felt this way was because he felt he couldn’t discern what Haru was thinking. Usually he could tell.

Before he could ruminate too much, the lights dimmed and the movie with it’s accompanying previews started. Periodically, as the movie played, he checked out of the corner of his eye to gauge Haru’s enjoyment.

Haru was looking straight ahead and seemingly engaged with it. 

Makoto reached for some popcorn, which lay between them. The arm of the seat between them had been lifted so it could rest there. He noticed that Haru’s hand lay between the seats, fingertips just barely encroaching on Makoto’s side of the seat.

However, he did not think much of it, instead deciding that Haru must be enjoying the movie if he was looking that focused.

Haru must have noticed his attentiveness because he turned briefly to make eye contact.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Haru sensed Makoto’s occasional glances and finally looked at him.

Had Makoto seen his hand broaching the space between them? Did he know what it meant? Did that mean a subtle rejection? Or was it that he had no idea and therefore was clueless?

Everyone loved to comment about how the two of them knew each other so well they could practically read each other’s minds. Why couldn’t Makoto just read his mind for this?

Or had he? And was just choosing to ignore it?

He smiled faintly at Makoto, who looked back at the movie. He did too. Maybe Makoto just needed to see it there, between them. He moved his hand to take some popcorn then put it back down between them.

So this was what it was like to have a crush and hope they finally noticed how you felt.

It was horrible.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

As they got out of the theatre, Makoto assessed whether or not Haru seemed to like it or not. He seemed to be off in one of his distant thought cycles, expression serious and focused. It was hard to tell.

“Did you like the movie?”

Haru nodded, drawn out of his thoughts to the present and Makoto in front of him. “It was a good choice.”

“Did you want to do more shopping? I also need a fresh wardrobe for college.”

“It’s up to you.”

“If you’re not going to get anything, I don’t want to inconvenience you by making you wait around all afternoon. You already did a lot of shopping last weekend, right? Were you planning on doing more shopping for the new school year?”

Haru shrugged, “I can. It’s not an inconvenience.”

“If you’re sure..”

“Where do you want to go first?”

~*~

After an afternoon of shopping and chatting, the train ride home was spent in a pleasant silence. The sun was setting and sending beautiful sparkles of light out everywhere.

It was true that Makoto knew what Haru was likely thinking a lot of the time; wasn’t that just something that came naturally with knowing someone for so long? He knew Haru’s opinions and feelings on most things.

But, in that moment, he wasn’t sure what Haru was thinking.

Haru was staring out the window at that beautiful sunset, seemingly content and peaceful.

Makoto finally had to ask, “What are you thinking right now?”

Haru’s eyes widened a little bit as he glanced at Makoto, “Nothing much,” he said and turned back to look at the ocean. “Just how nice this is I guess.”

Was it just him, or had Haru seemed a little taken by surprise? Embarrassed even?

Maybe not.

He settled on watching Haru watch the waves and the sun.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

The following Monday, Haru had made it to the top of the school building before Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa. 

He didn’t want to start lunch without them, so he left his lunch in the shade of the entryway building and moved to the chain-link fence. He curled his fingers into it and looked down stories below at all of the other students lunching with their friends or girlfriends and boyfriends.

All of the seniors would be moving on next year -- scattering in different directions to college, work, part-time work, or wherever. It felt strange and sad, he thought.

“Haru-chan!”

It was Nagisa’s voice.

Haru looked over his shoulder, but did not need to move because Nagisa made his way over to him quickly, a pink-tied bento box in tow.

“Haru,” he said again, smiling. “Are you going to ask your crush out this week?! Please tell me and we can prepare for the date.”

His fingers curled around the fence again and he frowned. “...mm… I already did it.”

Nagisa’s eyes widened. “What!!!!?! That’s awesome! And how did it go?” 

“.... they didn’t seem to get the hint.”

“You went to the movies?”

Haru nodded.

“You put your hand in between the space?”

“Mm..,” he gave another nod and briefly glanced behind them to make sure the others weren’t arriving, “...I paid for the lunch and movie concessions.”

Nagisa’s face fell. “Aww. Better luck next time. Did you try the pocky thing?”

He shook his head, “We didn’t get that far.”

Nagisa frowned on his behalf. “That’s a shame. You could try again?”

Haru shrugged and at that point Rei came through the door. Haru added softly, “Can we please not talk about this at school.”

Nagisa cheered up and laughed good-naturedly. “Whatever you want, Haru. I’m just here to help.” He patted Haru’s shoulder and said, “Let’s go sit down.”

Makoto appeared just after Rei and smiled at the three of them, waiving both Nagisa and Haru over. “Sorry I’m late! I had to talk to the counselor before I came up.”

It was a normal lunch.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

The week passed slowly and that Friday Makoto sat pondering in class, mind wandering as the teacher lectured. Haru had been more withdrawn than usual, Makoto noted.

Their walks home were pretty normal, but Haru seemed to be slightly more brooding and quieter than usual. Was he sulking? But when he asked him how he was feeling, Haru would just look at him with a slightly confused face and say he was fine.

What could he do with that? He didn’t want to press him too much either and be called ‘pushy’ again so soon.

So he let it be.

Maybe the group should do something to cheer him up, he thought. He would broach the idea at lunch.

~*~

Once everyone had convened on the rooftop and conversation and settled into a lull, Makoto finally said, “I was thinking maybe we could all hang out tonight?” he suggested. “There’s only so many more weeks we’ll get to do this easily.”

Nagisa’s eyes widened in delight. “I’m free! I would love to hang out with you guys!”

Rei said as he checked his his phone, “Hmm.. let me check my schedule. I can come.”

Makoto looked to Haru. “Haru?”

Haru shrugged, which meant yes. He then murmured, “We can use my place,” which was the go-to spot since there were no adults to bother or be bothered by.

“Yeah!” Nagisa cheered. “Shall we make dinner together? I really want ramen.”

Rei nodded, “We can pick up supplies on the way over. Does everyone want ramen?”

“Ramen is fine by me,” Makoto said.

Haru shrugged again, meaning it was fine.

“Hooray!” Nagisa said, “It’s settled then! Rei and I will bring the supplies and we’ll cook together. Should we watch some movies? I’ll bring movies! Is this a sleepover? Can it be a sleepover!?”

And so it was settled. Everyone would be piling over to Haru’s house that evening--for a sleepover. Makoto smiled, hopeful that it would work.

However, it was hard to tell, because Haru still seemed distant.

~*~

Makoto walked home with Haru, keeping good spirits, still trying to ascertain Haru’s. “Do you need help cleaning up?”

Haru shook his head. “It’s mostly clean. It’s just my room that’s a little out of order.” Haru eyed him though and said, “You can still come over early.”

Makoto smiled and said, “I will do that.”

Haru’s attention turned back to the road, and so did Makoto’s for a time. But, Makoto being Makoto, couldn’t just leave things alone -- especially when it came to Haru.

“Haru…” he hedged, “...you seem like you’ve been really down this week. I don’t want to pry, but-”

“So don’t pry.”

This left Makoto at a loss, so he didn’t say anything. Instead he looked down at the ground as they walked. He had told himself not to pry because Haru would get mad, but he just wanted to know. He wanted to help. Sure enough -- he’d upset Haru by asking again.

Haru must have noticed his distress because he said, “It’s nothing. Please don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry. I just want to help you. You’re my best friend, so when you’re down, I can’t help but worry.”

“You don’t need to worry.”

“But I do,” he said, “You’re important to me, so I want to make sure you’re happy.”

“You can’t solve all of my problems, Makoto.”

Makoto suggested gently, “But you could at least tell me about them..”

Haru stopped walking, which made Makoto stop walking.

“Not this time,” Haru was looking at the ground ahead of them. It had been difficult for him to speak eye to eye already, but it was especially on personal matters.

Makoto frowned slightly, worried. What kind of problem was it that Haru couldn’t talk to him about it?

“I’m here for you. In case you do want to talk about it. Okay?”

“I know. Thank you for that.” Haru did glance at Makoto then and added, “You’re always taking care of me. I appreciate it.”

Makoto nodded and accepted that for the time being. “Okay.” He started them off walking again.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Nagisa and Rei arrived together that evening, smiling, and holding up plastic bags full of ramen fixings and snacks for the evening.

“Thanks for having us over, Haru! I love this kind of thing!” He slipped out of his shoes in the entryway and stepped up into the main house, moving into the kitchen to set the supplies down.

Rei followed, but with a bit less overt enthusiasm and energy. “Thank you for letting us invade your house,” he said.

Haru nodded, in welcome.

Makoto had come over like he’d said he would. There was really only a bit of minor straightening, but it gave them a bit of time together with peace and quiet.

He really would be okay. It had taken a long time to realize he felt this way about Makoto. And, with the first ‘date’ being a failure, he felt a bit discouraged and anxious. He had two options before him, and he liked neither.

The first, as Nagisa suggested, was to tell Makoto in a more definitive way. This had certain positives and drawbacks. The positives were that there was no room for miscommunication; it would be clear and Makoto would have to give a clear answer. The second option was to give up; the friendship would remain intact, but he would never quite know if it had been a possibility or not.

There were too many unknowns. There were too many options. He would have to decide. And, making that decision was the root of his current anxiety and brooding.

Nagisa walked past Haru, and patted his shoulder a few times on the way by. “Can I make myself home at your stove?”

Haru was distracted from his thoughts and mildly alarmed. He could not let Nagisa cook. The last time had been a bit of a disaster. “Let me cook,” Haru said.

“I don’t mind!” Nagisa said.

Makoto intervened. “I’ll help Haru in the kitchen,” he smiled. “Will you help Rei set up the living room for movies later?”

“Oh yes!” Nagisa said, distracted out of wanting to help in the kitchen. “We both brought a few movies too. We’ll unpack. And should we unpack our sleeping bags too?”

Makoto nodded, “I think that’s a great idea.”

Nagisa bounded out of the kitchen to grab Rei and reorganize the living room to suit their movie viewing and sleep over needs.

Haru said softly to Makoto, “Thank you.”

Makoto smiled softly back at him. “You’re welcome.”

And the two of them got to chopping vegetables and pork together and in making a batch of ramen.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

Quietly chopping vegetables and cooking with haru as Rei and Nagisa had amicable arguments and conversations felt really nice. He couldn’t help but feel so fond of Haru in these moments. He may not be verbally affectionate, but Haru cared so much about his friends and showed it other ways.

Cooking for them was one such way.

He couldn’t help but glance over and see Haru in his dark blue apron and very focused and chopping away at vegetables, reading and re-reading recipe instructions, and tending the different dishes.

He was so.. Adorable. He felt his heart swell with affection.

Haru looked up, directly at Makoto. “Yes?”

He had been caught staring. So, he just smiled softly, shrugged, and said, “It’s nothing.” He turned back to his own tasks.

~*~

“This is so amazing, guys!” Nagisa said as he tucked into eating his ramen.

Rei nodded, with sage agreement. “Yes. The vegetables are cooked to perfection - just cooked enough to still be crunchy. The noodles are soaked long enough that they are the perfect degree of salty, but still--”

“Oh-my-gosh-Rei!” Nagisa laughed, “We don’t need a full food review!!”

Makoto laughed softly.

Nagisa continued, “Just say they’re really good!”

Rei looked a bit startled but said, “They’re really good.” He looked at Nagisa, a bit offended. “But it really is the perfect degree of salty.. And the eggs are just the right amount of soft boiled. The yolk has only just started to partially cook..”

Nagisa laughed.

Makoto glanced at Haru, watching all of this, who he assessed finally seemed to be in a good mood.

This made Makoto feel more relaxed as the evening progressed.

~*~

Once dinner finished, Nagisa and Rei claimed the task of cleaning up the dishes. This left Haru and Makoto to sort through the movies and rank them.

“I think any of these will do,” Makoto said.

Haru started to agree, but then held one up. “This one.”

Makoto looked it over. Makoto laughed softly. “I’m guessing this one is yours, Nagisa?”

“What one?!” he yelled from the kitchen.

“Splash? The American movie with Tom Hanks.”

“Oh! I like Tom Hanks..” said Rei.

Nagisa laughed. “It’s totally mine. I love it! So romantic… plus I know Haru likes water related movies. I guess it’s kind of water related? It involves a romance with a mermaid, so!”

“I’ll get it set up,” he said. “Did you guys also want popcorn?”

“Yes!” Nagisa said.

Haru got up and said softly, “I’ll make it.”

Eventually the four of them settled down together in varied positions on the sofa or on the floor with popcorn, soda, and other candies.

Makoto checked on Haru throughout the movie, and Haru seemed to be more relaxed.

Good.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Haru had felt a little tired at the thought of everyone coming over for a sleepover. But, like in most situations like this, once everything had got going he found that he was enjoying himself.

He liked Rei and Nagisa’s playful banter, Makoto spending time with him in the context of a group, and the conversation that flowed. 

He knew his default was to want time to himself, to be alone and find quiet and some sense of serenity. But, he also really did enjoy the bustle of his friends’ laughing and chatting.

He smiled softly despite himself because these were his good friends. He loved them. And he would miss how easily this all happened once things changed next year. He needed to enjoy it now while he could.

He recognized that he would also have to make more of an effort in the coming college years to form similar bonds. He would have Makoto there with him too, and that would help.

But for now he would enjoy these three being in his house spending time together. And, he would never really lose them. They would get together in the future. He would just miss seeing them every day.

However, that being said, he also got tired out by ‘people-ing’ for long periods of time. When the movie ended he got up and said, “I’m going to go outside for a little bit. I’ll be in shortly.”

Haru exited the room through the sliding door and shut it behind him. 

It was dark and the stars were out. The ocean was an inky black mass in the distance, but still beautiful in the darkness. The moon was out and reflecting over the watery depths. He just needed a few moments in the coolness and quiet of the evening before he could return to socializing.

However, the sliding door opened behind him, as someone else came out to join him. He turned and was about to assure Makoto that he was okay, except it wasn’t Makoto.

It was Nagisa.

Nagisa sat down beside him on the deck, legs hanging over the edge next to Haru’s.

“I wanted to ask you,” he said softly, “If you’re doing okay? Dating is so hard.. Exciting, but hard.”

Haru shrugged. “I’m fine. I just have to figure out how to move forward.”

“Right?! It’s so hard. It’s such a leap into the unknown. I need to take my own advice though,” he sighed softly. “There’s someone that I’m really head-over-heels for and I don’t have the guts to say so. It’s easy to leave things as they are, but I feel like it’s going to kill me. And, eventually we’ll be going to college -- maybe different ones -- and it will be too late by then. I just need to do it.” Nagisa huffed, unhappily.

Haru turned to look at him. “I wish you luck.”

Nagisa laughed suddenly. “Thank you, Haru-chan.”

“No ‘chan’.”

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

Makoto was about to get up, but Nagisa had beat him to it and left. Haru did not need even more people going outside to check on him. So, instead he turned to Rei.

“It’s really nice being here all together like this.”

Rei nodded. “I know Nagisa is going to really miss everyone. I will too, but I think he will take it harder.”

“He’s lucky to have you there with him though.”

Rei nodded. “I’ll make sure he’s not lonely. He’s really good at making friends anyway, so he’ll be okay. We’ll also be running the swim club so we’ll have new members to cultivate. Besides, we’ll just have a reason to visit Tokyo now and see you guys.”

Makoto smiled. “Absolutely! I would love to have you both visit. We’ll still be seeing each other.”

“Yes, we will,” Rei agreed.

There was a bit of a pause in conversation as both of them looked toward the screen door, curious about how Nagisa and Haru were doing outside.

Makoto turned back to Rei. “I was a little worried about Haru this week. He’s been so down and I wasn’t sure what to do for him. He seems to be cheering up with everyone over tonight.”

“Oh, right. It’s no fun getting rejected,” Rei frowned. “... though I can only imagine how it feels. I’ve never asked anyone out.”

Makoto’s brain reeled. Rejected? By who? He had asked someone on a date? When had Haru been rejected? Did he go on the date? Was there a love confession? 

“Oh..” Makoto said faltering, trying to decide if he wanted to play along and figure it out or be honest about being completely in the dark. Why hadn’t Haru told him? How did Rei knew about it while he didn’t? Wasn’t Haru his best friend? Why didn’t Haru tell him?

Makoto looked up at Rei. “When you say rejected..”

Rei suddenly looked a bit flustered. “You didn’t know?”

Makoto shook his head. “No, I… he’s been avoiding the topic with me.”

Rei said. “I guess the ‘cat’s out of the bag’ so to speak. Please don’t tell him I told you though. I guess there’s someone he likes and he was going to ask them out on a date and try to figure out if they felt the same way or not.”

“Oh. So, he went on a date then?” Makoto’s brain felt like it was breaking. Haru.. had a crush? On who? 

Rei nodded. “Nagisa is more in the know than I am. He’s been helping Haru-senpai with all of this,” he motioned vaguely.

“Nagisa..” Makoto said, looking toward the door. That’s why Nagisa and Haru had been talking more frequently. The date then must have been that last Saturday when Haru went to the mall, but who did he go with? Was it a girl? His chest burned a bit with panic, or was it Rin? Is that why Haru hadn’t told him he was going to the mall last Saturday?

He was feeling incredibly jealous.

Rei nodded, “Right. He’s been helping Haruka-senpai with all sorts of stuff.. Like all of the signs to show when you’re romantically interested in someone. And, then, if they notice those signs can reciprocate if they’re also interested. It’s been very educational.”

“What do you mean? Like what kind of signs?”

“Oh,” Rei said, recounting them, “Number one was brushing hands accidentally together while walking together and see if they do it too. If they do, then they probably want to hold hands and you can make that move. Or, Nagisa suggested inviting them out to a movie and making sure the arm rest was up and putting your hand in between the seats. They’re supposed to notice and put their hand down too, to touch a little bit. I guess that means you can gauge if you’re both interested in holding hands or whatever. Things like that.”

He continued, “I guess it boils down to seeing if the other person is okay with you touching them or not. And, if they are, they reciprocate and you can be more forward about making a move. If not, it might be a sign that there’s no interest and you need to back off.”

Makoto’s heart felt like it was going to burst. Haru was trying to date someone and had tried these things?! He just couldn’t believe it.

“This is Haru we’re talking about right?”

Rei nodded, “The very same. Nagisa and I went to the mall with him on Saturday to get him a new wardrobe. Nagisa said that part of it had to do with dressing super nice so that your crush notices you and thinks you’re attractive.”

His brain exploded again. This was too much. This meant that 1) Haru had NOT been on a date with some mystery girl or Rin on Saturday. Haru had been with Nagisa and Rei. 2) This meant that Haru had already had the date sometime in between Saturday and now.

But that meant.

Did that mean…?

“Did Haru say who his crush was?”

“No,” he shook his head, “He wouldn’t tell us. Nagisa seems to have a guess, but he wont tell me.”

His hand involuntarily went to his chest, which was beating like crazy.

Haru had been with him every day since Saturday night. There was no one else he had spent time with that he was aware of. Haru would have had to sneak out after like 10 o’clock at night to go on said date, which Makoto could not imagine.

Makoto looked toward the screen door.

Did Haru reciprocate his feelings?

He thought back to their Sunday mall hang out.

Had that been a secret date?

He almost died right there. Haru had insisted on paying for his food. Haru had put his hand down between them during the movie. Their hands and briefly brushed now and then as they had been walking home.

His heart fluttered with a sudden flurry of hope.

“Oh,” Makoto said finally. 

“Are you okay?” Rei asked as Makoto stood up.

“Fine. I just.. I’ll be back.” He found his way to the bathroom to give himself a minute to freak out.

Was Haru trying to date him? Was that what this was all about? And now Haru was sad he hadn’t picked up on these hints and signs?

He splashed some water on his face, but it was no use, he was freaking out.

He went over everything again in his head. No matter how he checked and re-checked it, it seemed like this was a real possibility. Haru was trying to court him? Was that possible? After all of these years?

“Calm down. Calm down.” He looked at himself in the mirror. “Calm it down, Makoto.”

It had been literally years that he’d had a crush on Haru. He’d told him back in Junior High, but Haru had seemed to accept it more as a declaration of platonic friendship. Or, he was conveniently ignoring the possibility it was a declaration of love so that it allowed Makoto to save face, stay best friends with him, and not give a formal rejection.

Makoto had come to resign himself to the fact that he would be friends with Haru while having a crush on him. Eventually they would go to college and maybe then he would find someone to date.

He never thought in a million years..

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Nagisa finally got up and said, “I’m going back inside. Did you want to watch another movie?”

Haru stopped him though by saying, “Nagisa. Thank you for your help.”

Nagisa smiled and nodded. “Of course! Anytime. Anything for my best friends.” He held out a hand to Haru, who took it to stand up.

They both went inside and Haru slid the screen door shut behind them.

“Where did Makoto go?” Nagisa asked.

“I think he’s still in the bathroom,” Rei said.

“...’still’?” Nagisa asked.

Rei shrugged. “Shall we pick the next movie?”

Haru sat down and the three of them looked through the available movies. 

“We’ve both seen all of these,” Nagisa said. “Maybe we’ll have Makoto pick something when he gets back.”

Makoto finally appeared.

Rei said. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah! Of course,” Makoto said, waiving a dismissive hand. “I didn’t mean to worry everyone.”

He sat down next to Haru and Nagisa said, “We all decided that you should pick the next movie!”

Makoto laughed, “I don’t know if I can handle the pressure!”

Rei added, “We brought our favorites, so we’ll like whatever you pick. No pressure. We are guaranteed to like whatever you choose.”

Makoto chose another movie and they all settled down into watching it.

~*~*~

After movies and a bit of chatting, they had all settled down in the darkened room to go to sleep. Except Makoto was 100% unable to sleep.

Every part of his brain and heart were alight with this new information. His brain wouldn’t stop; it was on repeat churning and rechurning all of this information in his head.

He turned his head to look over at Haru, he was purportedly already sleeping next to him.

Haru.

Am I your crush?

His heart beat like crazy. How was he ever supposed to sleep?

Haru stirred and opened his eyes. For the second time that evening, Makoto was caught staring at Haru. However, he didn’t look away.

“Haru-chan,” he said softly, trying not to wake the others. 

Haru lifted his head slightly in question and concern, and for once didn’t scold him to drop the ‘chan’. 

“Tomorrow. Will you go to a movie with me?”

Haru nodded and looked back at Makoto for a little bit. “Goodnight.” He turned onto his back and closed his eyes.

Makoto did the same and closed his eyes. “Goodnight.”

It took a little time, but now armed with a plan, he was finally able to sleep.

~*~

Makoto awoke, feeling exhausted from lack of sleep, but energized by the notion that he was now going to take Haru on a secret date. It left him feeling a little crazy with nerves and excitement.

He sincerely hoped he was not making things up in his head and seeing what he wanted to see.

The four of them had a nice, easy breakfast of cereal and whatever Haru had on hand; everyone had insisted that there be no formal breakfast as Rei had to rush off for cram school and Nagisa would accompany him part way home.

Once Rei and Nagisa left, Haru gathered his belongings and said. “What time do you want to go?”

“Anytime,” Makoto said.

“Do you want to go now then?”

Makoto nodded. “Let me go home, shower, and get dressed. In about an hour?”

Haru agreed and they parted ways.

~*~  
An hour later, Haru was at his door and his mother called to him, “Haru’s here, honey!”

“He can come up to my room!” he said, still struggling to get ready. Haru had dressed nicely for the first secret date, so he realized a bit late that he should do the same and was frantically going through the new clothes he had purchased the previous weekend.

He settled on a pair of well fitting black jeans, a dark purple shirt, a light stylish jacket that had a large white stripe across the chest, but was otherwise black, and a pair of new sneakers. He was brushing his hair when Haru walked into his room.

He saw Haru’s eyes widen a little bit. “Your new clothes.”

“Ah,” Makoto laughed, “Is it weird?”

“It’s just.. A different look.”

He suddenly felt less courageous and sure about it. “Maybe I should change.”

Haru shook his head. “No, it’s nice. A different you.”

“A future me?”

Haru nodded. “A future you,” he agreed. “A college you.”

“Who is not really changing drastically, but just trying on a different look.”

Haru nodded. “Exactly.”

Makoto laughed, and Haru smiled softly. He put down his brush and tucked his wallet into his pocket. “I’m ready.”

Haru escorted him down.

“I’m taking off,” Makoto called to the general household.

“See you later,” his mom said. “Just text me and let me know if you’ll be back for dinner or not.”

“Okay, mom!”

“Bye, Oniisan!!” the twins shouted in almost unison from where they were playing.

“Bye, babies,” he said with affection and left with Haru.

He walked down the many stone steps of their neighborhood with him and onto the general path toward the train station. Should he try to brush his hands against his, or was it too soon? He walked in step with Haru and smiled at him.

Haru glanced at him too and walked with him.

“What do you want to see?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Haru said, “It doesn’t matter too much to me.”

“All right,” he said, taking note that Haru’s hands and arms were available, not shoved into pockets or unavailable in any way.

He let his hand brush gently against his once, curious how Haru would react. It gave his heart a bit of a nervous thrill to be trying this.

Haru seemed to take it in stride as they walked and talked, paying it no mind.

Frustrating. If Haru really was interested in him, wouldn’t he be taking note of it? 

Then again, Haru would probably need more signs like this to realize what he was trying to tell him back -- especially if Haru had taken the last ‘secret’ date as rejection. How was Makoto supposed to know that it was supposed to be a date?

“Do you want to eat at the same restaurant?” Makoto asked.

“That’s fine by me. I liked it well enough.”

They walked to the station in companionable silence after that and boarded the train to Aeon Mall. Once at the mall, they sat down to eat at the same cafe.

After ordering, Makoto was curious and unable to stop himself from asking, “Do you think you’ll date in college?”

Haru looked up from the menu at him a bit suddenly. “I don’t know. Maybe. Will you?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“If the person I like will date me.”

Haru frowned at him. “That goes without saying.”

Makoto laughed softly.

“Can we not talk about this?”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Haru nodded.

“Because there is someone you like?”

Haru paused, considering how to answer that question, but the length of time it took him on how to decide to answer was telling. And he knew that. “... Maybe. Is there someone you like?”

“Yes. I think so,” Makoto stared at him for a long moment. Did Haru really not know? Had he forgotten his confession in the pool or really not understood what was happening back then? He was sure Haru had understood. So, why was Haru so shy about it now?

Unless it wasn’t Makoto he was into. He briefly felt unsure, but it had to be him, because of what Rei had said. Haru hadn’t seen anyone else this week as far as he was aware.

“Haru, did you hang out with Rin at all this last week?”

Haru’s head tilted at the sudden change in topic. “No. Why?”

“No reason.”

Haru changed the subject, “What movie are we seeing?”

“Oh! Right,” Makoto decided to stop pressing him on the subject, and brought up his phone to show Haru the movie options and times.

Haru scanned through them. “I like either of the top three options.”

“This one then.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be scary?”

“Maybe not that one then. How about ‘The Stars in the Sky’ then?”

Haru nodded.

And, with that settled, they finished up lunch. Makoto got the check first and paid for them before Haru could object or try to pay.

“I’ll get the concessions today,” Makoto said, “Since you got everything last time.”

“Sure,” Haru agreed without argument. 

He bought them popcorn, a box of candies to share, and a soda each. Once settled into their seats, Makoto started to feel a little excited and nervous again. He made sure the armrest between them was pushed up and out of the way with the popcorn in between them. There was plenty of room for their hands.

Would Haru see what he was trying to do? He would find out.

The lights eventually dimmed, the movie previews played through, and the movie started. 

He watched Haru from the corner of his eye, taking note of him. He was currently eating popcorn and had his free hand along the far armrest. He tried to watch the movie, and he did with mild success, but most of his attention was focused on Haru.

He ate his fair share of popcorn, carefully cleaned his hand on the napkin and decided it was time.

He put his hand down between the seats of the armrest, broaching just a little bit onto Haru’s seat.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Haru’s mind was still turning everything over. How should he tell Makoto? Should he even tell him? Should he just stay best friends with him? It seemed so risky.

Eventually he wanted more popcorn and was about to reach for it when he saw Makoto’s hand rested partially onto his own seat.

His heart started to race a little bit. Was this a sign? 

He looked back at the movie for a little bit. There was nothing to do but find out.

It took him a bit of time to put up the nerve, but with his eyes locked on the screen, he set his hand down too, fingertips falling onto Makoto’s fingertips.

Makoto did not immediately pull his hand away.

In fact, it stayed there.

Did that mean…?

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

It felt like an eternity with his hand between them. Maybe this was all in his head? How could this all be in his head though? Rei had said Haru went on a secret date, and who else would it have been? Haru had even confirmed at lunch that he hadn’t seen Rin recently.

Haru’s arm moved, and Makoto’s heart leapt up.

But then Haru’s hand settled right down into his own lap, decidedly not breaching the space between them. 

This was killing him. Would it be an entire two hours like this? Should he pull his hand back?

Before he could do so, Haru’s hand finally moved again, slowly to rest between them. His fingertips came down on top of Makoto’s hand.

He felt like he was going to die. Was this really happening?

Haru didn’t move his hand away and neither did Makoto.

This was happening.

He didn’t want to break the spell that had them touching fingers, but then he decided he should make a move.

Still carefully watching the movie, he moved his fingers against Haru’s slowly.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Makoto was playing with his fingers.

Makoto. Was. playing. With. his. Fingers.

He moved his fingers back against his, feeling them right back.

He was not sure what had changed between last Sunday’s movie date and today’s, but he wasn’t going to analyze it just then. He was going to enjoy the feeling of Makoto’s hand touching his.

He shifted his hand to officially hold Makoto’s.

Makoto held it back, thumb rubbing back and forth and very gently along the heel of his hand.

His heart felt like it was going to explode from excitement. 

Makoto liked him this way for real?

He chanced to look over at him, despite his own embarrassment.

Makoto looked over too and smiled faintly at him too, but very obviously happy.

He wanted Makoto to always smile like that. This was wonderful.

He smiled despite himself.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

He was holding hands with Haru--Officially!

He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but how could he not? He’d had the biggest crush on Haru since Junior High. How could he not be thrilled?

He couldn’t stop touching him. It was probably a good thing they were in a movie theatre because he wanted to do so much more than just touch his hand. He didn’t want to scare Haru.

He sensed Haru looking over at him, so he looked back.

He loved it when Haru had that kind of smile… simple, unguarded, and sweet.

He should look like that always.

It was a good, long time that they looked at each other.

However, Haru eventually looked back at the continuing movie and he did the same, still holding his hand and playing with it.

They would have to talk about this after. What should he say? When should he say it? They couldn’t exactly talk openly at the mall about it because there were so many people. Would they head straight home then? They should head straight home. He could finally kiss Haru. Where should he do it?

He’d thought about all of this several times over in the years leading up to this, but it was actually happening and that was quite different than fantasizing about it.

His heart felt fuzzy with ecstatic energy. He 100% did not focus on the movie, now completely focused on how Haru’s hand felt in his. He wanted to touch it forever.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Once the movie ended and people started to get up from their seats, he squeezed Makoto’s hand and slid it away from him. They were in public after all, and he was not exactly one for PDA.

Makoto understood and squeezed his hand back as they parted.

Haru stood up, “Back to Iwatobi?”

Makoto nodded, “Yes. Iwatobi. Your house?”

This made Haru’s stomach flip.

His house. Alone. 

He hadn’t even considered this. He had been so focused on how to communicate to Makoto how he was feeling that he had no idea what he was supposed to do after that. How did one kiss? Would they be boyfriends now? What were boyfriends supposed to do exactly? And what about sex and all of that?

He had various notions about it from all of the romance in television and whatnot, but it felt different now that he was actually confronting what it would mean to be Makoto’s boyfriend.

Haru led the way out of the theatre, sneaking glances at Makoto, who seemed to be happily sneaking them back. 

This made him happy too.

They boarded the train together, standing close together. And, instead of looking out at the ocean, he found himself mostly wanting to look at Makoto. Their legs were touching as they sat on the train to Iwatobi together in a very companionable quiet.

His heart was still tight with joy.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

If he could have run to Haru’s house it would not have been fast enough. Walking from the Iwatobi train station to Haru’s house felt like forever. At the same time, it was good because it gave him time to think before they were truly alone.

Though, the path home at this time of evening was devoid enough of people that he could talk to Haru.

“Haru-chan…” he said softly, fingers brushing against Haru’s briefly. He knew Haru well enough to know he wouldn’t want to hold his hand in public, but he figured the ‘accidental’ brushing that Nagisa referred to would be inconspicuous enough.

Haru didn’t complain about the ‘-chan’ and let his fingers brush against Makoto’s too. His head tilted away from Makoto, an indication of shyness. “..Yes?”

He smiled at Haru. “Is there something you wanted to tell me?”

From what he could see in the evening light, Haru was definitely blushing and feeling self conscious. He gave the slightest of shy nods.

It was adorable.

He waited for Haru to be ready, though. This kind of thing shouldn’t be drawn out of someone, but come willingly and naturally. He should not push it more than he already had.

They continued on the remainder of the walk this way, quietly alternating in looking at each other, and letting their hands brush gently together.

When they got to Haru’s house Haru stopped and said. “Do you think we can go up to the vantage point?”

Makoto nodded, because that was a lovely place for a confession... and hopefully a first kiss.

Haru went up the next set of steps and Makoto followed behind until they were at the top of their neighborhood hill. There was a small, natural looking garden with a tree overhanging a bench, which had a lovely view of the seaside and twinkling lights of the homes below on the shore. 

Haru moved to stand at the double bars of railing that lined the edge. He looked out over the ocean and at the stars, then back at Makoto.

Makoto joined him there.

Haru’s hands moved to hold the railing, perhaps stalling for a little bit. Makoto could see that Haru was nervous. 

Haru finally turned to face him. “Makoto.”

“Yes?”

There was a long pause between them as Haru looked at him, just a pace away. 

The air and the moment hung between them.

“I like you,” his gaze was brief and shy, pulling away from Makoto. He then clarified more quietly, “Romantically.”

Makoto’s heart swelled with euphoria. “I like you too,” he said softly back, “romantically.” He held out his hand to him, which Haru took. “Can I kiss you?”

Haru nodded and Makoto stepped close to him. Everything in his mind seemed to spiral. He was so focused on Haru, but at the same time was intensely aware of everything around him. The stars were spread beautifully out above them. The sound of the ocean was a soft and lulling. The air had the bite of chill, but he felt warm. His heart thumped loudly in his chest.

He touched his mouth to Haru’s. It was a light kiss. A first kiss with just Haru’s mouth gently against his own. A chaste kiss. 

It was perfect.

Makoto moved to hold Haru’s shoulders in both hands. He pulled away so they could look at each other. “So, you were trying to go on a date with me last weekend?”

“Sort of,” he said. “Nagisa was giving me advice..”

“Why didn’t you ask me out properly?” he asked, but knew the likely reason. It was the same reason he’d struggled with his confession in junior high. It was hard to risk changing things.

“I wasn’t sure if you still felt that way…”

Makoto laughed softly and hugged him tightly, heads so that they were ear to ear. “Of course I do,” he said. He adjusted his hug to hold him around the lower back, bringing them to a full, intimate embrace. “Was I not obvious enough in how much I care about you? I always worried it was too much. That you might find it annoying.”

Haru’s hands finally came up his back, returning the embrace. “It took me a while to figure out I felt the same way. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything,” he said, one hand moving to cradle the back of Haru’s head. “No matter what, we will always be best friends.”

Haru’s hands curled and uncurled against the shirt of Makoto’s back. “Okay.”

“But now we can be boyfriends, right?”

Haru nodded against his shoulder. “I want that. Yes.”

Makoto still felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “ You’re my boyfriend.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe it.”

Haru’s mouth pressed a small kiss against his neck as he said, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

Makoto shook his head against him. “Not at all.” He pressed his mouth to Haru’s again. Another chaste second kiss. Haru’s face was his to kiss now. It had happened. It had finally happened!

Finally he said. “It’s cold. Can we go back to your place?”

Haru nodded, but did not seem inclined to let go.

“Can I stay over for a little bit?” he asked, because he absolutely wanted to take advantage of the fact that he could kiss Haru now.

“Yes,” Haru said, finally releasing him.

~*~*~*Haru*~*~*~

Makoto’s mouth felt so incredibly nice against his. And so did his body. It was hard for him to let go, even though they would be going back to his house and could probably explore that a little more.

Makoto took his hand and led him down the steps back to Haru’s house. At the house, Haru took off his shoes and put them in the proper shoe box. He stepped up into the main household and waited for Makoto.

Makoto did the same and followed him up.

Haru looked him over, heart racing a bit with both embarrassment and a bit of nervousness. What did Makoto want to have happen? What did he himself want to have happen?

Makoto must have sensed his hesitation because he took Haru’s hand and said, “We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you for a little bit.”

“I want to,” he said. He couldn’t stop looking at him, and at that moment, his mouth. He very much wanted to try kissing him again. 

He tugged Makoto to him. Makoto’s arms came around him, which felt incredibly nice. With Makoto being so much taller and broader than him, it felt all-encompassing. 

He pressed his mouth to Makoto’s again. This time, Makoto’s mouth parted slightly. Instinctively Haru did the same. He pressed his mouth more firmly to his. Makoto’s tongue pressed briefly against his mouth, which felt good. So Haru did the same. And soon their tongues met in the small space open between them. It felt like a promise of what french kissing could become.

Makoto’s embrace shifted, encompassing Haru in a way that had one of Makoto’s arms snug and secure against his lower back and the other up the back of his shoulder.

Makoto’s mouth worked against Haru in a series of unending kisses, which slowly opened Haru’s mouth to his. Makoto’s tongue pressed into his mouth in a similar series of incrementally deeper kisses. At first they were small endeavors against his lips and into his mouth. They deepened until Makoto’s tongue moved against Haru’s in long, questing movements.

Haru felt like he was under water, the rest of the world muted around him. He felt closer to Makoto than he’d ever felt before -- and for good reason. How did one get closer than this?

He experimented in pressing his tongue back against Makoto’s, also gaining entry and exploration into his mouth.

He felt hot all over and suddenly a little overwhelmed with the feeling of all of it. But it did not mean he wanted to stop.

Makoto was not aware of this though and perhaps feeling the same, asked gently, “Is this all right?”

Haru felt a bit intoxicated and lifted his gaze to meet him. “More than all right.” He felt his neck heating up with embarrassment. “You don’t have to stop.”

Makoto kissed him again and Haru’s eyes shut so he could focus on the feeling. Their kisses settled into a similar round of unending, deepening kisses. However, this time Makoto’s hands started to move over his back, not yet straying below the waist line. His hands did, however, come up beneath his shirt to stroke his bare skin.

Haru decided to do the same. He’d seen Makoto mostly naked for most of his teenage life and been curious about how it would feel to touch him. Specifically, he wanted to touch his back. Makoto’s back was pretty amazing. He smoothed his hands up from his sacrum to shoulder slowly as they kissed, running fingers and palm over the muscle. 

He ran his fingers and palms over his immense shoulder blades. It was then that he realized he had definitely been developing a strong, and now urgent erection. He paused both in kissing and touching, a little perturbed. Would Makoto want to touch him? Did he want to touch Makoto?

Yes. Yes he did. He realized he absolutely wanted Makoto naked and to be naked with Makoto. And soon.

Makoto paused again. “Still okay?” Makoto’s voice had become a rough, sexy tone that Haru had never heard before. Makoto’s fingers had traveled back down Haru’s back. His fingertips dipped down the back of Haru’s jeans, teasing just above his ass.

Haru exhaled sharply, overwhelmed, in a good way. In his imaginings, he had thought Makoto would be far shyer about this kind of thing. He had been wrong. Maybe those years of waiting he’d put Makoto through had made him bold. Whatever the reason, it was sexy.

“We could go upstairs,” Haru suggested.

Instead of responding verbally, Makoto simply hooked his hands around Haru’s thighs and lifted him up, adjusting so that he could carry Haru with Haru’s legs around his waist. One of Makoto’s arms wound tightly around Haru’s upper back and the other cradled most of the span of Haru’s ass to hold his weight.

He carried him upstairs then into Haru’s bedroom.

Haru had barely wrapped his head around the fact that Makoto had just scooped him up and carried him upstairs when he was suddenly dumped into his bed. Makoto descended on him.

Makoto’s weight came down on him, pelvis against pelvis and chest to chest. Haru’s legs had wound up slightly spread with space for Makoto’s legs to be in between. Haru’s head tilted to the side as Makoto kissed his way along it. It felt a bit tickly, but in a sexy and nice way.

“Is this..” Makoto started to ask.

“Yes,” Haru said, feeling a bit breathless. He threw his arms around his back and neck, holding him tightly there. “You don’t have to keep asking. I want everything.” Haru kissed him. He was acutely aware of both erections trapped between them. His erection felt hard and good against Makoto’s abdomen. He could feel Makoto’s pressed against his body, a bit lower based on their positioning. 

He needed them to move. He wanted to feel Makoto against him. He wanted to feel it all.

Makoto’s mouth crushed down against his, opening his mouth, and claiming it. 

Haru let out a soft sound of pleasure despite himself. He found Makoto’s roaming hands, taking them into his own to interlace their fingers.

Makoto let out his own sound of pleasure.

Haru tested shifting his hips up against Makoto’s to press his erection to him. Makoto felt the shift and urged his hips against Haru’s in response. Soon they were rubbing their erections against each other.

Makoto’s kissing became a bit frenzied and as a result Haru’s too. He released Makoto’s fingers, needing to feel him again. His hands down his back, then up beneath his shirt. He realized he wanted it off. He pushed the hem of his shirt up until Makoto got the idea and pulled it off himself.

Makoto pulled back to sit up between Haru’s legs and assist him in getting his shirt off too. With a break in contact, both of them took a moment to look each other over. 

They’d seen each other bare chested and partially naked before, but this was different.

Both caught their breath.

Haru’s heart was still beating a bit crazily. 

He looked Makoto over. The man was beautiful. He was graceful. He was strong. He was sweet. He was gentle. He was the kindest person he knew.

And now the sexiest. He was absolutely the sexiest person.

~*~*~*Makoto*~*~*~

He still could not believe that Haru and he were boyfriends now. And, as boyfriends, he could not believe that they were making out and effectively dry humping. Did Haru really want to go further? Haru said he could stop asking, but he couldn’t help it. Did Haru really know just exactly what he really wanted to do to him?

“Haru..” he moved his hand down the center of his chest, down his abdomen, over his navel, and down to his waistband.

Haru was panting softly, chest rising and falling as his hand had made its way down to his jeans button.

“I want you to.”

“You’re sure? This isn’t too fast--”

Haru interrupted him abruptly, almost annoyed. “You don’t have to keep asking. I want to.” Haru’s hand moved to take hold of his hand, which had paused. Haru moved his hand to place it down firmly on his erection.

Makoto felt his heart race. A bit shocked at having his hand on Haru’s erection, it took him a moment to gather his wits and move that hand. He rubbed Haru’s erection ever so slowly, feeling the form of it. Haru’s hips lifted against his hand, encouraging him.

Haru’s head tilted to the side and his gaze shifted away. Haru was embarrassed, he realized. But despite that embarrassment, Haru said, “You can... take it out.”

Makoto paused again. This was unreal. 

He took a moment to gather his sanity, confirm to himself that this was all real, then moved both hands to Haru’s waistband. He slowly undid the button to his pants. And then tugged the zipper down until his fly was completely open. He pressed the fabric apart then crooked one finger into the waistband of his underwear.

Makoto looked to Haru for confirmation.

Haru still wasn’t looking at him, clearly still embarrassed. But, he said, “Please. I want you to.”

“Lift your hips then..” 

Haru did as he asked so Makoto could tug down both jeans and underwear to reveal his erection.

Makoto paused again to look him over. He hesitated to admire him, but did not want to keep Haru in suspense. He closed his fingers over the shaft of his cock.

“Haru.. you’re beautiful..”

Haru made a pained sound, still seemingly unable to look at what was happening between them.

He moved his hand along the skin of his erection, marveling at how he felt in his hand. Haru was so stiff, and in how erect he was, so beautiful. 

Haru inhaled sharply and held his breath a little as Makoto began to more freely explore his cock, bringing his fingers up his shaft and over his head. His hand smoothed down to cup his balls warmly. Haru felt amazing.

“Makoto..” Haru pleaded. His hips lifted again, pressing his erection into his hand. Haru finally looked up at him, and the scene between them -- Haru’s cock in Makoto’s hand. He let out a soft tortured sound.

Makoto’s cock jumped.

Haru curled to sit up. He kissed Makoto’s mouth briefly. His hands gravitated toward his waistband. He undid Makoto’s jeans pants button and unzipped his pants. “I want to feel you too,” he said as his hand smoothed inside and beneath his underwear to nudge against his cock.

Makoto suddenly couldn’t breathe. “H-haru…” he felt his face turning red. 

Haru’s hands moved against the skin of his cock and he felt frozen. It felt so impossibly good to have him doing that.

“Lie down next to me..” Haru suggested. Makoto obeyed, disentangling himself from Haru just long enough to lie down.

“Let me get out of these. You too,” he said to Haru as he wriggled out of his pants and kicked them away from them on the bed.

Haru, a little behind, did the same thing, which left them both naked on the bed together. They turned toward each other. Haru’s hand came to Makoto’s erection first, pressing the full length of his palm and fingers against it.

Makoto did the same, then curled his hand around him to loosely stroke him. Haru did the same.

They looked at each other as they felt each other. He wasn’t sure he’d made eye contact with Haru this long before. Haru, often being emotionally secluded and uncomfortable in expressing himself, did not usually look into his eyes this intensely. His eyes were so very blue, he noted, like the sea. 

Makoto kissed him and Haru returned it. He shifted so he could kiss and fondle, fondle and kiss him. 

Their mouths meshed together in pleasant, deep kisses as they touched each other. Haru’s hand felt so good stroking along his erection.

“I want to make you feel good..” Makoto said at last and shifted down a bit. He cupped Haru’s balls with one hand and stroked him more urgently with the other. “Do you have lubricant?”

Haru shook his head, distracted with pleasure and simultaneous embarrassment.

“That’s okay..” he assured and stroked him more assertively. He wanted to make Haru come. And, Haru, being very sensitive this first time, did not take much longer before he tensed up, made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and came in hot gushes onto Makoto’s hand.

Haru recovered after a short time, eyes focusing intently on Makoto. “Can I do the same for you?”

“Please,” Makoto said. Haru copied him, cupping his balls and holding his erection with the other hand. He stroked him at a similar pace. 

Makoto’s eyes closed and he pressed his hips in gentle undulations against Haru’s stroking hand. He felt the pleasure build. Haru sensed this and stroked him firmly. He reached his pinnacle and came too. He made a pleased sound and put his arm over Haru. He kissed his forehead. 

“You’re wonderful,” he said to Haru. “So wonderful.” He couldn’t help but smile.

Boyfriends. Lovers. Haru was his to have and to hold.

He felt amazing. Everything was amazing.

“Haru,” he said, shifting to get a good look at him.

Haru’s gaze fell on him, steady and oh-so-blue.

“I love you.”

Haru’s eyes widened. He seemed unable to speak for a moment, but then said gently, “I love you too.” 

Haru must have been touched because he kept looking at him. Makoto wondered if he was feeling the same sort of sense of wonder and amazement that he himself was feeling.

“So much.”

Haru agreed with a soft, "Mmm..."

They pulled each other close. After cooling down and holding each other, Makoto said. “We should probably change the sheets.”

“They are messy, yes.”

There was a pause between them as neither of them moved to get up. Neither wanted to.

“Haru, shall we go swimming tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he nestled in closer to him. “I think we should take a bath together in the morning.”

“I like that plan.”

They eventually cleaned up and changed the sheets. Makoto had texted his mother that he’d been spending the night at Haru’s. And, that evening as he laid there not sleeping, curled up and entangled with Haru, he smiled. 

He thought that they very much felt like two starfish clinging to one another, unable to let go of each other, and not wanting to.

“I love you,” he said again, finally able to say it freely. Haru shifted just that much closer to him in response.

~*~*~*The End*~*~*~

Some time later…  
(Extra)  
~*~*~*Rei*~*~*~

Rei sat across the coffee table from Nagisa as they did their homework. Eventually he put his pencil down. He needed a break and to think about something else.

“Haruka-senpai seems like he’s in a much better mood,” he commented. “I wonder if things are going well with his crush.”

Nagisa looked up from his homework and put down his pencil too. His eyes narrowed slightly on Rei, but Rei couldn’t quite tell what that meant.

Rei continued, “Maybe it all worked out.”

“Oh, it absolutely did.”

“He told you and you didn’t tell me?”

Nagisa shook his head, “No, but I didn’t need him to tell me. I could just tell.”

“What?” Rei said. Nagisa actually knew who they were dating? “Well, who is he dating?”

“You were supposed to figure that out. If you think about it, I think you can figure it out.”

“Oh. Hm… but I’ve already tried thinking about it and had no clear conclusion. I have no new information.”

“Other than that Haru is now dating someone.”

“I still don’t see him hanging out with anyone other than the swim club or on the rare occasion Rin.”

“Yes. So..?” Nagisa said.

“I haven’t seen him around any girls-” but then he stopped. He had not considered this angle before. “Unless he’s not dating a girl.”

Nagisa couldn’t help but smile. “So, who is he dating?”

Rei’s brain lit up as the pieces fell into place. “Makoto. He’s dating Makoto.”

“Yay!” Nagisa said. “You finally figured it out!”

It made total sense now that he thought about it. Haru had shown zero interest in girls. When asked out, he seemed uninterested. He and Makoto spent an exorbitant amount of time together. How did he not see this before? And, thinking back through it all, it made perfect sense.

“How did I not see it before?”

Nagisa laughed. “It’s all right. We all have our blind spots. How it took them this long to start dating is beyond reason anyway.”

Suddenly he realized something else. Half of Nagisa’s room was pink -- not that there was anything wrong with pink. Nagisa had said he was also gone on ‘secret’ dates much like the one Haru had gone on, but much like Haru he didn’t see Nagisa spend time with anyone other than himself or the swim club group.

His brain worked over time.

“Nagisa,” he said.

“Hm?”

Rei stared at him, feeling himself start to blush. He was realizing a lot all of a sudden. “You also don’t like girls.”

Nagisa looked a little surprised, but then nodded. “You’re right.. That’s obvious to most people I think.”

He thought about how Nagisa had basically stalked him and forced him into joining the swim club. They had been inseparable since. They had gone to movies together. Nagisa had absolutely put his hand between their chairs. He had done the pocky thing in the mouth and everything while they studied. He had done everything he’d told Haru to do.

And what he also realized, was that he felt the same way.

Nagisa suddenly looked concerned, “Rei, are you feeling alright?”

“I um… yes. I’m fine. I just -- Nagisa, do you have any pocky?”

Nagisa was confused, but said, “Sure.” He rooted around his room and handed him the box.

Rei pulled a stick out and put the stick end into his mouth. He looked pointedly at Nagisa. “Well?”

Nagisa did not seem to understand at first, then his expression relaxed. “Rei, what are you…”

“Bite it already.”

Nagisa’s eyes glittered as he came to terms that Rei really was telling him to bite the pocky from his mouth. Instead Nagisa vaulted forward, pulled the pocky from his mouth, flung his arms around him, and kissed him.

He kissed Nagisa back then pulled away and cleared his throat. “You should have just told me. You know I’m clueless about this stuff.”

“You’re right. I probably should have.” 

They kissed each other again and Rei realized this was exactly what he wanted. Nagisa should always look so happy and should always be in his arms.


End file.
